A six-letter word that encompasses so many meanings and interpretations, yet the meaning that comes to mind first for many, is a negative one, a bad one- the one that makes you cringe when you hear it, but what if we are looking at it all wrong? Now, I am not one to talk because I am the WORLDS WORST at anticipating and dealing with change. I am a Type A person by nature, and as a Type A person, I do not like change, and I do not like having to fix my plans around an ongoing situation. I am not a “go with the flow” person unfortunately, and life without my planner scares me. I call myself a “planner”, which really means that I like to have everything together. I like to be organized, and I like to not wonder, but know.
You see, all these things are attributes I have built myself on and have coined my reputation on. These attributes make me who I am, and there is nothing wrong with that. There is however something wrong with how I take in and handle change. I admit, I have not been the best at welcoming in change with open arms, but nothing in this world could have prepared me for the change that I experienced this Fall- my husband’s deployment.
Many will shrug their shoulders and say, “so what, life goes on”, and I too once had this train of thought, but it is so much more than you would think. Learning to live without the person you are married to, your best friend, is one of the biggest challenges and changes I have had to face. Luckily, I was well prepared from our command, and the constant detachments, so I some what knew what to expect, but the gut wrenching feeling of knowing your best friend won’t be back for hundreds of days, and could possibly not come back at all, is terrifying. That is what I felt the first couple of days he left.
I had read many books, articles, and blogs on what to expect the first few days, and it was textbook. I felt exactly what they had described, and I realized that if I did not learn to adapt to this new change in my life, I would end up depressed and alone. So, I decided to make the time that Calvin and I had apart, “me” time and to focus on my physical, emotional, and mental health. To do this, I decided to sit down and make a “deployment bucket list” before Calvin left. This list has the goals that I wish to complete before he comes home, and gives me something to look forward to everyday. Some of my goals include:
Finish Kayla Itsines BBG 1.0 and 2.0 program
This goal in its self is my way of focusing on my physical health. Getting back in shape is something that I have been wanting to do for a long time, and the BBG program is a very structured and scheduled program. This will allow me to complete these workouts on a schedule, and allow me to add in my own workouts when needed.
Try new foods including vegan and vegetarian dishes
This goal will allow me to clean up my diet and goes hand in hand with getting back into shape. Everyone knows that the hardest part of getting back into shape is your diet, and with this goal, I am hoping to clean mine up and keep it clean.
Finish decorating the house-including our new lounge area
We moved into our new apartment in May, and I have yet to finish decorating it. I get so busy with school and work, that I forget that I need to take time out of my busy weeks to focus on the house. Of course, I keep it clean, but decorating is something
that I love to do, and I just don’t make time for. I am hoping to finish decorating the apartment by the time Calvin comes home, and to also finish our lounge/library.
Get a 4.0 this Fall and Spring semester in college
As a full time student, the majority of my life revolves around college and school work. While I always try to do my best, I am hoping to go above and beyond this semester and next with my courses by making A’s in all of them. This helps boost me emotionally and mentally and always makes me feel good.
Starting out this week has not been the easiest, and my workouts have left me sore, but I am looking forward to each passing day because one day new, is another day closer to my best friend coming home. This new change is a new chapter for not only me, but for Calvin as well. Seasons change and so do we, and I look forward to sharing it with you!
Has there ever been a time when you had a hard time accepting change? Tell me about it!